17 1/2 weeks :)

I can not believe that Christmas has come and gone!! I got my "white Christmas" though. Yeah!! :) We got to spend lots of time with my family. And we will get to see his family this weekend, since Jackie and Kyndall were in Virginia for Christmas.
So, I have had a dream that the baby was a boy. And I had a dream that we had twins! Oh my! lol. Whatever we are having, I am blessed beyond what I deserve. I am just happy to finally be pregnant and have had a wonderful worry free pregnancy thus far.
I know that some people that read this blog are going through the "same" problems that I did. Not necessarily the same medically, but the same as in, you want it so badly and you just don't understand why it hasn't come yet. I know that it is frustrating and upsetting. And you get so annoyed when people ask you when, when when. But I promise, that God has it all under control. He knows when the time is right. He has something special in store for each and every one of you. It is so hard to remember and grasp that sometimes, but it is the truth.
The doctors don't always know everything that they think they know. God is the ultimate doctor! And if for some reason it really isn't meant for you to actually "produce" a child, that doesn't mean that you cant be a mother. There are so many children that do not have families and you could be that child's only hope for one. Adoption is still in our future. As is being foster parents later in life.
This blog is being written for a few reasons. The first being that everyone in my family (that includes my friends) can keep up with me and the baby without me having to call everyone about every little thing. But the most important reason is for encouragement for those that are going through the hardships of trying to conceive. If we aren't there for each other, then who can be? I mean of course our families, and friends and husbands will be, but they do not understand. No one can understand, except for another woman going through the same thing. So, if you ever need to talk, you know where to find me!! Love to all.
And HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Doctor's appointment

My appointment today went very well. I had only gained 3 pounds, so I am back to the weight I had started at. I got to hear the heart again, it was down to 156. Mom got to go back with  me so she could hear it. She was excited. My blood pressure was good. The Dr is very happy that I haven't had any problems. He said I can do what I want and eat what I want, no restrictions (within reason of course).
We go on January 11th to find out what we are having. We will have the "gender release" party on the 15th. Mom ordered the invitations for me today :) I cant wait til they get here. Only 3 weeks and we will find out if we will bringing home a Zoey Olivia or a Jackson Levi!!! Hopefully the weeks will pass quickly!
Its so hard to believe that Christmas is Saturday!!! I am looking forward to the family time though. Levette and I are going to cook breakfast for everyone (mom, dad, Karrie, Kevin) on Christmas Day. I want to start a tradition of it, because I know my parents will come over every Christmas to see the kids' toys. Just like my grandparents did when we were little.
I do hate that my Pappy isn't here though. I miss him so much. I wish he was here to see my baby. But I know that he is watching out for me. I think he had a conversation with God on when the baby should be due. I am certain that he/she will be here on June 2. That was his birthday. He wants me to know just how special this baby is going to be. And to let me know that he is watching over me, no matter how old I get.
OK, well I think that is all I will write today. I don't want to get over emotional. I probably wont be back on before Christmas, so I hope that everyone has a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A BLESSED NEW YEAR!!!! AND REMEMBER THAT JESUS IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON!!!!

16 weeks!!!

I can not believe I am already at 4 months!! Time is flying by. Yesterday the baby was all over the place. She finally settled down when I took a nap. Everyone got to feel her. (sorry I keep calling it a her. I hate to call it an it.) Anyways. Everyone was so excited about it.
We had Christmas with the Sellers family on Saturday. However, little Ethan apparently had a stomach virus and has given it to everyone!! So, the whole family is sick. So far Levette and I haven't gotten it. Thank God. Hopefully it will stay away from us. Karrie is going to disinfect the house for us.
I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. They are going to do all of my blood work and set up the appointment for THE ultrasound! Finally!!!! Then we can get to work on the nursery!!!
I am totally looking forward to fixing up the nursery and I really cant wait til my shower!
I guess that is all I have to say today. I will blog tomorrow after the appointment!!

14 WEEKS 5 DAYS

I can not believe how fast time is going!!! We have already started talking about the baby shower!! I am super excited about. I am so ready to find out what this baby is!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just a few more weeks........
I am happy that my sister has moved back in town. Unfortunately it isn't under the best circumstances but I am still happy that she is going to be around when the baby gets here.
Not much has been happening. The nightmares have finally went away! Thank you Jesus. I have been sleeping pretty good. I have been having the "round ligament pains". Basically it feels like pains in my ovaries, but its just my uterus stretching (or something along those lines). Its the worst when I am at working, sitting for so long and then I finally stand up. I guess I need to stand up every 10 minutes or something.
And I am almost positive that I have felt the baby moving. I have googled when you are supposed to feel the baby for the first time. Most say 16-20 weeks. But some said that you can feel as early as 14 weeks, but most people think that it is gas. I am like 90% positive that it was Zoey/Levi.
And even though she cant hear, she can feel the vibrations, so I talk to her. She gets very active at choir practice ( again, I think that its her lol)
Oh, gosh! The heartburn!!! I have never had it before so I think that is what it is. It is horrible. This baby better have lots and lots of hair!!!!!!
Its hard to believe that Christmas is just a few weeks away! This time next year we will have a 6 month old!! Crazy. We have a party this weekend at our house. My office party is Monday. The Sellers party is next Saturday. We also have a family photo shoot. And the Christmas cantata is Sunday. Needless to say, we are going to be pretty busy the next few weeks!
Well, I guess that is all I have to write about this week!!! Talk to you again soon!!!
14 weeks :)

2nd Trimester!!!

I hope that everyone had a fabulous Thanksgiving! I know that I did. It was so good to be around all of my family.
So, I took the "draino test". It said girl!!!
I am officially 13 weeks (and 2 days today). And have entered into the 2nd trimester. Supposedly this is the "good" trimester. I am supposed to get all of my energy back and feel great....... So far, so good! My energy is definitely coming back. We actually went out walking last night and did some exercising on the WII! I cleaned house last week and got the Christmas decorations put up. And I haven't been going to bed at 8pm! Its so good to be energized!!
The only thing that I can complain about are the nightmares. Ug! I wake up scared to death sometimes!! And its not from watching horror movies! We had fasted horror movies for a while and I was still having the nightmares. But I have read that they occur more often when pregnant. I just pray them away. Hopefully they will go away soon.
I think that Levette is getting the brunt of the pregnancy though. Besides putting up with my mood swings, tiredness and emotions, he has had the cravings (last night he wanted to put hot sauce on his brownies), the weight gain, a little sickness, and constipation. Poor guy. But he has been a trooper through it all and I couldn't ask for a better husband.
At Thanksgiving dinner Thursday, the baby was the talk of the day. Everyone is so excited about it. Misty wants everything to be "princess" and pink!! Ug!!!! lol. I am not a pink or princess person for sure!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And she is insistent that Zoey have real dress up clothes!!! To each his(her) own!! Lol. This poor kid is going to be soooooo spoiled!
Levette's parents are just waiting to find out the sex to buy what they have in mind. There is no telling what they are planning! Same goes for Jackie! I love that everyone is excited about the baby. She (or he) will be so blessed to be coming into this family!!!
Well, I guess I am all caught up!!! Talk to you again soon!!

12 1/2 weeks

I went to the dr today. He said everything looked good. I had actually lost 3 pounds, which is normal for the first trimester. The baby's heart beat was up to 167 bpm. I was glad that I got to hear it again, it made me feel better. I go back for the regular checkup in 4 weeks and then we will schedule THE ultrasound. So, it will be January before we find out what it is. The baby is very low though. I am going to take the "draino test" tonight just for fun. I guess that is all I have to write about today. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!
 12 weeks prego :)

11 weeks and 5 days!

I cant believe I am almost done with my first trimester! I am almost 2 months pregnant! Its insane!!! But I am still loving being pregnant for the most part. Mom and I have been buying clothes every time we see them on sale. We have 3 Halloween costumes to choose from next year! I have decided on the themes for the nursery. Now just to find out what it is so we can start on it.
Yall know that I am totally klutzy as it is, but pregnancy (I guess that's what it is) has made it so much worse!!! I trip over everything, drop everything, spill stuff every time I eat. Its horrible!! I hope this goes away once the baby is born! lol.
I am super excited to go to the dr next week. I feel like it has been way to long. Of course they will just do blood work and a check up. But it will make me feel better to hear the dr say that everything looks good. :) I don't think I have gained any weight, but I could be wrong. Hopefully I wont get fussed at!
Jennifer bought me a What to Expect Pregnancy Journal and Organizer. I absolutely love it! It is exactly what I have been wanting! I have recorded some things in it, but next week when I am off I will get it caught up. I will also work on the baby book while I am off next week. And put up the Christmas decorations! I will be super busy.
I am totally in the holiday spirit this year. I cant wait to see all of my friends this weekend for our Thanksgiving Dinner. And then the families next week. We have so much to be thankful for. And then Christmas is right around the corner!! Its so hard to believe. This year has flown by already!! I know it will continue to fly now that we are having a baby. She will be grown before we know it!
I think that that is all I have to say today. I hope that everyone has a fabulous Thanksgiving. (I will write again next week, but in case you don't read it til after) HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10 weeks 2 days!!!

I can not believe that I am 10 weeks already!! Most of my clothes arent fitting now :( But my dear husband is taking me shopping tonight for some new stuff! Yeah for a nice husband!!! This may sound crazy, but I am not feeling pregnant this week. I cant explain it. Its like, is this for real or was I just making it all up? I am ready to go to the dr in 2 weeks so I have more proof!! lol. Is that normal?
So, as I posted on Thursday, we had a big decision to make. I didnt call the lawyer on Friday because I still didnt know the answer. So, I took the weekend to think and pray some more. I finally came to the conclusion that we just couldnt do it. Levette was already against it, for mine and the baby's sake. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that emotionally, physically, mentally and financially, we just couldnt do it. The dad called me last night, and I told him our answer. I cried. I went to Nan's and cried to her. I had felt so at peace with our answer but I felt so horrible saying it out loud. But everyone thinks that it is for the best. My heart doesnt hurt as badly today, but it still sucks that we had to say no.
We are getting into a busy season with all of the holidays coming up. I am super excited about it all. Thanksgiving will be the first time to see most of the family since we announced we were pregnant. I think that a few of my aunts and uncles still dont know. It will be exciting to see everyone and be happy together with the wonderful news of our family addition. We have so much to be thankful for, not just this year, but every year. But more this year since we have our little miracle coming in just 30 short weeks!!
I cant wait to start on the nursery. As soon as Christmas is over we will start. My sister will have to come down since she is the artist. I want the nursery to be bright and cheerful and stimulating. I dont want to have to change it up in a couple of years. I want to get to leave it as is until we have another child. Then, Zoe/Levi will be moved into the big room (unless we have moved by then).
We have of course been buying baby clothes over the years. Everytime the clothes of the passing season go on sale, we buy a few things for boys and girls. I mean, we have enough nieces and nephews that somebody will wear them one day lol. Mom got the cutest Santa outfit last year, but its for a girl. Maybe this year we will find one for a boy. :)
Well, I guess that I dont have anything else to say. I will probably write again when I go to my dr in 2 weeks. They will be doing blood work and all that day :( But they will also be scheduling THE ultrasound!!! And then of course I will probably write after Thanksgiving as well. If I dont post before then, everyone have a FABULOUS Thanksgiving. Give God thanks for everything in your life. Love yall!!!!

Um, WOW???

So, the pregnancy has been great. Still no sickness. Life is good. Everything is great. Then BAM. Amazing how one phone call can change your whole world. Many of you know, and I think I have mentioned, that we started the process of adopting. And it fell through. Well, the lawyer called me today. We are the only option for this child, unless he goes into DHR custody. We wouldnt be adopting him, at least not right now. It would be "temporary" custody. We have to make the decision by tomorrow morning. Levette said no automatically. He said he doesnt want to deal with the stress of the people involved. I know he is worried about me. But I cant say no. My heart wont let me. I want to just call the lawyer back and say YES! But I know that we have to make this decision together. And God has to guide that decision. He would be in our house around Thanksgiving. If you are reading this before the decision has to be made, please pray for God to lead us to the right choice, or shall I say, for us to listen to God leading us to the right choice.

9 weeks!

So, I am 9 weeks and 2 days today! I am starting to get some of my energy back. I am not quite as tired as I have been. Still no sickness :) Everyone keeps telling me that I am so lucky. I guess I am, but mostly I consider it blessed. My emotions still wreak havoc, lol. And I know that is only going to get worse!!! But I can't complain at all. Pregnancy is being good to me. Everyone is so involved and asking lots of questions. I am definitely not in it alone. I love the support that I get from everyone at church, and especially from my family and friends. Everyone is super excited. Zoe or Jackson is going to be so lucky and blessed to be in this family. And spoiled rotten!!
I finally cleaned this weekend!! It was like the first time since I found out I was pregnant that I really cleaned. lol. And now the house is spotless! Yeah! I guess that is all I have to update on for now. I hope everyone is enjoying the blog! I go to the dr in a couple of weeks, so I probably wont update until then!
Lots of love to everyone!!

I Will Praise You in This Storm

This may seem random, but some of you who are reading this are going through the same thing that I was. Read the lyrics to this song. If you have never heard it before, look it up. Its by Casting Crowns. This song is powerful!!!! Print these lyrics out and look at them on your bad days, and your good days. Put your trust in God alone. He is always there. He is the only one that will ALWAYS be there. He is the only one that knows you. He knows your wants and your needs. And He will provide. But you have to remember, its in HIS time, not yours. I know that is so hard to remember because I didn't always think that way. And I know you are thinking its easy for me to say that now, because I am pregnant. And you are right. Trust me, I have been where you are and everyone kept telling me, when the time is right........ THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Am I right? That's how it was for me. I wanted it right then. But God knew, that something, well alot of things, was not right in my life, and I wasn't ready. You may think that you are ready, life is perfect for you and its time. But God knows whats going to happen in the future. Last year, starting around this time, my life when to shambles. We quit going to church, we were going to the bars every weekend, we were robbed in December and lost everything, Levette and I hit a very rough patch in our marriage, we lost our vehicle and had to share his 79 F150. We moved in with my inlaws, Levette had surgery, we both had the flu, which mine ended up as pneumonia and I was put to bed for a week. I lost my job. God knew all of these things were going to happen, and knew we wouldn't be able to handle ourselves, much less a baby!!! And now look, we have 3 vehicles, one being brand new, a nice home,  great jobs, our marriage isn't perfect, but ITS FABULOUS! And we are back in church and getting closer and closer to God. Then we find out we are pregnant! HOW MUCH BETTER CAN IT GET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I promise you, God knows what he is doing!!! I am here for anyone that needs to talk, or cry or yell!!! I know sometimes I just wanted to yell!!!!!!!!!!!! And when you don't have someone that hasn't been in your situation, they don't know how it feels. You and I may not be in the same boat, but hey, close enough! But read these lyrics. Keep them close. Download the song on your phone, ipod, whatever. I keep it on both. We will actually be doing this song at my church in a few weeks as expressive worship. If you would like to see it, let me know and I will get you the date when it is set. GOD BLESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
Chorus

BOY OR GIRL?????

To announce the gender of our baby, we are going to have a GUESS THE GENDER PARTY!! You have to come dressed in the color that you think the sex is. We are going to play games and reveal the sex. Is it Zoe Olivia or Jackson Levi????????

I have "symptoms" of both:
Boy: I didnt have any morning sickness (mom was sick with Kevin, but not me and Karrie), I crave meats and cheese (I love cheese all the time), My hands are very dry, Dad to be is gaining weight too, I have been having headaches, My age at the time of conception and the month I conceived, added together equals an even number.
Girl:Baby's heart rate is at least 140 (156), my left breast is larger than the right (always has been), I crave sweets (thats normal for me, although it used to be chocolate, now its candy), I crave orange juice (and I HATE orange juice), I dont look quite as good as normal (that's personally how I feel bc of the breakouts and tiredness), I am moodier than usual, my face breaks out more than usual (so badly), my breasts have blossomed (they were already in full bloom but now I cant wear any of my bras or camis with out overflowing).

So far this is what everyone is thinking:

BOY
Dana, Levette, Melanie, Karrie

GIRL
Me, Amanda Reed, Tracy, Mom, Nana, Todd, Valerie, April May

How our little miracle came about.......

When I met Levette, he told me he would never love me, would never marry me, and would definitely never have children with me. We began dating in May 2005, in September he told me he had fallen in love with me. In October 2006, he decided he wanted to marry me. We married in October 2007, and talked about having kids in a few years. However, Levette had different plans. In January 2008, he decided he was ready. We tried and tried and tried, and still no baby. I was depressed and upset. We went on fertility drugs in the summer of 2009. Still, nothing. In April 2010, I decided no more fertility drugs. I was tired of counting days and taking pills and being disappointed.
I will be honest, I was furious. I didn't understand why I couldn't have a baby. All these people that get to have kids, and they don't take care of them, and here I am, willing and able to take care of a baby, and cant get pregnant. Levette didn't understand why that was so hard for me to let go. He didn't want kids until he was 23, I had wanted kids my whole life. That was my life's dream, to be a wife and a mother. I was still depressed. Every time I found out someone was pregnant, it became worse and worse. I didn't want to be depressed, but I couldn't help it.
In August, our church had a women's banquet. The speaker was a lady named Naomi. She was a great speaker. Very inspirational. She said that she knew there were people there that night that needed a miracle. I knew immediately that I was one of the people looking for a miracle. She said to close your eyes and imagine the miracle. I did. I saw myself pregnant, about to pop. She said, now start thanking God, and don't stop. So, I did. I went home that night and told Levette that I would be pregnant soon and told him this story and he said ok, I'm ready.
I really quit thinking about getting pregnant. Its like, the need, the want, was taken away, so I could concentrate on other things. I continued to thank God for the miracle that I was positive that I would soon receive.
The opportunity for adoption came about, so we began the process, thinking that if we weren't able to have our own children, then this is what God wanted us to do. We were super excited. We went to the lawyer and hit a speed bump. I was very upset. Adoption wasn't out of the question, it was just going to take a little longer than expected. That was on Tuesday. On Thursday, we found out we were pregnant.
However, we did not change our minds about the adoption. God was just blessing us as parents times two, we thought. But, He had other plans in mind. We got a call from the lawyer the following week, and he said the mom refused to sign over rights and that the people that had him now, wanted to keep him. I was so upset. But Levette reminded me that its not what we want, its what God wants for us. We don't know how this pregnancy will be, so I really didn't need the "stress" of taking care of a toddler. So, I became ok with the fact of losing out on the adoption, and was thankful for the child that God was blessing us with.
So, that is the story of how our little miracle came about................

7 1/2 weeks

I am starting this a little late, so I will catch everyone up! I found out I was pregnant on Thursday, September 30th.
The only reason I took the test, was because in the past whenever I took one I would always start my cycle. I was a couple of days late, and frustrated. I took the test while I was getting ready for work. When I came back, I just glanced at it and said, its negative. Then I did a double take and saw a very faint positive line!! I was hysterical!! I started crying and called Levette right away. He asked what was wrong, and through the tears I said that I had taken another test. He said, I told you to quit getting so upset, its ok. And I was like NO!! ITS POSITVE!! Levette was shocked and told me to call the dr. Of course the doctor's office wasn't open at 7am.
I called Jennifer and Jeanette with my great news and they were sooooo happy. They knew how long and how badly I wanted this. I didn't want to tell anyone else, just in case. But I couldn't keep it in. I sent mom a text of the the test and said Happy Early Birthday. She thought it was negative. When I told her it was positive, she said PRAISE THE LORD! I told her not to tell anyone, but she didn't listen! The whole family knew by lunch! I called the dr and made an appointment for the following Tuesday. Dad didn't believe mom, so I had to take him the test. Levette's mom doesn't believe it either.
So, on Friday, I told everyone via Facebook. I took another test, again it was positive. I was thrilled and in shock.
On Tuesday, October 5th, I went for my first appointment. Dr. Stephen confirmed that I was 5 weeks pregnant. They scheduled my first ultrasound for October 19th and gave me a due date of June 8th (Nana had already told me June2).
I went for the first ultrasound on the 19th.
It was so amazing to see and hear the heartbeat. I teared up, as did Levette, but he said he had something in his eye. lol. It was so awesome to finally get to see our little miracle. God had blessed us way more than we had ever imagined. They told me I was 7 weeks and 3 days, so 3 days more than what the doctor had guessed. We used a pregnancy calendar and saw our conception date was September 11th. The new due date is June 4th. And the heart rate was 156.85bpm.
I haven't had any sickness at all. Just a few headaches the first week (that I didn't know I was pregnant) and being really tired. My clothes are already tight around my lower belly, but I don't mind. I have craved pancakes, but I am not sure if that was the pregnancy or just me, lol. I haven't been able to wear contacts because my eyes are so dry and my vision actually got a little better.
So, I think that catches us up. I will write another post on my story of what I believe is how we received our little miracle. Talk to you soon!!