When I met Levette, he told me he would never love me, would never marry me, and would definitely never have children with me. We began dating in May 2005, in September he told me he had fallen in love with me. In October 2006, he decided he wanted to marry me. We married in October 2007, and talked about having kids in a few years. However, Levette had different plans. In January 2008, he decided he was ready. We tried and tried and tried, and still no baby. I was depressed and upset. We went on fertility drugs in the summer of 2009. Still, nothing. In April 2010, I decided no more fertility drugs. I was tired of counting days and taking pills and being disappointed.
I will be honest, I was furious. I didn't understand why I couldn't have a baby. All these people that get to have kids, and they don't take care of them, and here I am, willing and able to take care of a baby, and cant get pregnant. Levette didn't understand why that was so hard for me to let go. He didn't want kids until he was 23, I had wanted kids my whole life. That was my life's dream, to be a wife and a mother. I was still depressed. Every time I found out someone was pregnant, it became worse and worse. I didn't want to be depressed, but I couldn't help it.
In August, our church had a women's banquet. The speaker was a lady named Naomi. She was a great speaker. Very inspirational. She said that she knew there were people there that night that needed a miracle. I knew immediately that I was one of the people looking for a miracle. She said to close your eyes and imagine the miracle. I did. I saw myself pregnant, about to pop. She said, now start thanking God, and don't stop. So, I did. I went home that night and told Levette that I would be pregnant soon and told him this story and he said ok, I'm ready.
I really quit thinking about getting pregnant. Its like, the need, the want, was taken away, so I could concentrate on other things. I continued to thank God for the miracle that I was positive that I would soon receive.
The opportunity for adoption came about, so we began the process, thinking that if we weren't able to have our own children, then this is what God wanted us to do. We were super excited. We went to the lawyer and hit a speed bump. I was very upset. Adoption wasn't out of the question, it was just going to take a little longer than expected. That was on Tuesday. On Thursday, we found out we were pregnant.
However, we did not change our minds about the adoption. God was just blessing us as parents times two, we thought. But, He had other plans in mind. We got a call from the lawyer the following week, and he said the mom refused to sign over rights and that the people that had him now, wanted to keep him. I was so upset. But Levette reminded me that its not what we want, its what God wants for us. We don't know how this pregnancy will be, so I really didn't need the "stress" of taking care of a toddler. So, I became ok with the fact of losing out on the adoption, and was thankful for the child that God was blessing us with.
So, that is the story of how our little miracle came about................
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