I Will Praise You in This Storm

This may seem random, but some of you who are reading this are going through the same thing that I was. Read the lyrics to this song. If you have never heard it before, look it up. Its by Casting Crowns. This song is powerful!!!! Print these lyrics out and look at them on your bad days, and your good days. Put your trust in God alone. He is always there. He is the only one that will ALWAYS be there. He is the only one that knows you. He knows your wants and your needs. And He will provide. But you have to remember, its in HIS time, not yours. I know that is so hard to remember because I didn't always think that way. And I know you are thinking its easy for me to say that now, because I am pregnant. And you are right. Trust me, I have been where you are and everyone kept telling me, when the time is right........ THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Am I right? That's how it was for me. I wanted it right then. But God knew, that something, well alot of things, was not right in my life, and I wasn't ready. You may think that you are ready, life is perfect for you and its time. But God knows whats going to happen in the future. Last year, starting around this time, my life when to shambles. We quit going to church, we were going to the bars every weekend, we were robbed in December and lost everything, Levette and I hit a very rough patch in our marriage, we lost our vehicle and had to share his 79 F150. We moved in with my inlaws, Levette had surgery, we both had the flu, which mine ended up as pneumonia and I was put to bed for a week. I lost my job. God knew all of these things were going to happen, and knew we wouldn't be able to handle ourselves, much less a baby!!! And now look, we have 3 vehicles, one being brand new, a nice home,  great jobs, our marriage isn't perfect, but ITS FABULOUS! And we are back in church and getting closer and closer to God. Then we find out we are pregnant! HOW MUCH BETTER CAN IT GET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I promise you, God knows what he is doing!!! I am here for anyone that needs to talk, or cry or yell!!! I know sometimes I just wanted to yell!!!!!!!!!!!! And when you don't have someone that hasn't been in your situation, they don't know how it feels. You and I may not be in the same boat, but hey, close enough! But read these lyrics. Keep them close. Download the song on your phone, ipod, whatever. I keep it on both. We will actually be doing this song at my church in a few weeks as expressive worship. If you would like to see it, let me know and I will get you the date when it is set. GOD BLESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
Chorus

BOY OR GIRL?????

To announce the gender of our baby, we are going to have a GUESS THE GENDER PARTY!! You have to come dressed in the color that you think the sex is. We are going to play games and reveal the sex. Is it Zoe Olivia or Jackson Levi????????

I have "symptoms" of both:
Boy: I didnt have any morning sickness (mom was sick with Kevin, but not me and Karrie), I crave meats and cheese (I love cheese all the time), My hands are very dry, Dad to be is gaining weight too, I have been having headaches, My age at the time of conception and the month I conceived, added together equals an even number.
Girl:Baby's heart rate is at least 140 (156), my left breast is larger than the right (always has been), I crave sweets (thats normal for me, although it used to be chocolate, now its candy), I crave orange juice (and I HATE orange juice), I dont look quite as good as normal (that's personally how I feel bc of the breakouts and tiredness), I am moodier than usual, my face breaks out more than usual (so badly), my breasts have blossomed (they were already in full bloom but now I cant wear any of my bras or camis with out overflowing).

So far this is what everyone is thinking:

BOY
Dana, Levette, Melanie, Karrie

GIRL
Me, Amanda Reed, Tracy, Mom, Nana, Todd, Valerie, April May

How our little miracle came about.......

When I met Levette, he told me he would never love me, would never marry me, and would definitely never have children with me. We began dating in May 2005, in September he told me he had fallen in love with me. In October 2006, he decided he wanted to marry me. We married in October 2007, and talked about having kids in a few years. However, Levette had different plans. In January 2008, he decided he was ready. We tried and tried and tried, and still no baby. I was depressed and upset. We went on fertility drugs in the summer of 2009. Still, nothing. In April 2010, I decided no more fertility drugs. I was tired of counting days and taking pills and being disappointed.
I will be honest, I was furious. I didn't understand why I couldn't have a baby. All these people that get to have kids, and they don't take care of them, and here I am, willing and able to take care of a baby, and cant get pregnant. Levette didn't understand why that was so hard for me to let go. He didn't want kids until he was 23, I had wanted kids my whole life. That was my life's dream, to be a wife and a mother. I was still depressed. Every time I found out someone was pregnant, it became worse and worse. I didn't want to be depressed, but I couldn't help it.
In August, our church had a women's banquet. The speaker was a lady named Naomi. She was a great speaker. Very inspirational. She said that she knew there were people there that night that needed a miracle. I knew immediately that I was one of the people looking for a miracle. She said to close your eyes and imagine the miracle. I did. I saw myself pregnant, about to pop. She said, now start thanking God, and don't stop. So, I did. I went home that night and told Levette that I would be pregnant soon and told him this story and he said ok, I'm ready.
I really quit thinking about getting pregnant. Its like, the need, the want, was taken away, so I could concentrate on other things. I continued to thank God for the miracle that I was positive that I would soon receive.
The opportunity for adoption came about, so we began the process, thinking that if we weren't able to have our own children, then this is what God wanted us to do. We were super excited. We went to the lawyer and hit a speed bump. I was very upset. Adoption wasn't out of the question, it was just going to take a little longer than expected. That was on Tuesday. On Thursday, we found out we were pregnant.
However, we did not change our minds about the adoption. God was just blessing us as parents times two, we thought. But, He had other plans in mind. We got a call from the lawyer the following week, and he said the mom refused to sign over rights and that the people that had him now, wanted to keep him. I was so upset. But Levette reminded me that its not what we want, its what God wants for us. We don't know how this pregnancy will be, so I really didn't need the "stress" of taking care of a toddler. So, I became ok with the fact of losing out on the adoption, and was thankful for the child that God was blessing us with.
So, that is the story of how our little miracle came about................

7 1/2 weeks

I am starting this a little late, so I will catch everyone up! I found out I was pregnant on Thursday, September 30th.
The only reason I took the test, was because in the past whenever I took one I would always start my cycle. I was a couple of days late, and frustrated. I took the test while I was getting ready for work. When I came back, I just glanced at it and said, its negative. Then I did a double take and saw a very faint positive line!! I was hysterical!! I started crying and called Levette right away. He asked what was wrong, and through the tears I said that I had taken another test. He said, I told you to quit getting so upset, its ok. And I was like NO!! ITS POSITVE!! Levette was shocked and told me to call the dr. Of course the doctor's office wasn't open at 7am.
I called Jennifer and Jeanette with my great news and they were sooooo happy. They knew how long and how badly I wanted this. I didn't want to tell anyone else, just in case. But I couldn't keep it in. I sent mom a text of the the test and said Happy Early Birthday. She thought it was negative. When I told her it was positive, she said PRAISE THE LORD! I told her not to tell anyone, but she didn't listen! The whole family knew by lunch! I called the dr and made an appointment for the following Tuesday. Dad didn't believe mom, so I had to take him the test. Levette's mom doesn't believe it either.
So, on Friday, I told everyone via Facebook. I took another test, again it was positive. I was thrilled and in shock.
On Tuesday, October 5th, I went for my first appointment. Dr. Stephen confirmed that I was 5 weeks pregnant. They scheduled my first ultrasound for October 19th and gave me a due date of June 8th (Nana had already told me June2).
I went for the first ultrasound on the 19th.
It was so amazing to see and hear the heartbeat. I teared up, as did Levette, but he said he had something in his eye. lol. It was so awesome to finally get to see our little miracle. God had blessed us way more than we had ever imagined. They told me I was 7 weeks and 3 days, so 3 days more than what the doctor had guessed. We used a pregnancy calendar and saw our conception date was September 11th. The new due date is June 4th. And the heart rate was 156.85bpm.
I haven't had any sickness at all. Just a few headaches the first week (that I didn't know I was pregnant) and being really tired. My clothes are already tight around my lower belly, but I don't mind. I have craved pancakes, but I am not sure if that was the pregnancy or just me, lol. I haven't been able to wear contacts because my eyes are so dry and my vision actually got a little better.
So, I think that catches us up. I will write another post on my story of what I believe is how we received our little miracle. Talk to you soon!!